Daft Ha'porth

Not 'apeth', as some may type.

But a ha'porth of what?

farthings

Jill Halfpenny

And the answer is 480, before anyone asks.

You could park your bike there

But you do get more than expected to the pound.

June explanation available on polite request.

Why park your bike, you will get mud on them!

♪♫♪ "Pop! goes the weasel" ♪♫♪

Charlie Dimmocks always had mud on em

Aye, Pass me the mud

I am currently just around the corner from said drinking establishment where that rhyme originates

Cant see that picture ?

Look again, Dick whippitout...Look again!

I cant open it if i right click on the red cross and click show picture, absolutely foxtrot alpha happens

Half a pound, is not half a penny.

So stick to topic.

And don't be frightening the children or horses.

butter was in 1926

Up and down the City road

In and out the "Eagle"

that's the way the money goes

pop goes the weasel

Per knob.

^^^^^

Knob of butter.

My pic is of the Eagle pub, Steff.

Exactly how big is a knob of butter

Next week; shoe sizes for feet of clay.

A/ Depends how hot it is in the room.

Its gone all upmarket now, since it recently had a lick of paint.

You can even get three tapas for £11,

washed down with that flat ale they call "London Pride"

Eleven sovs you say? Well, I'll grab me braces and walk like I've threw a poo in my breeches. See you there in five.

A knob of butter is about a heaped tablespoon, or about the same size as you would pick up between three fingers and a thumb.

Here

Which begs a question about hand sizes.

We could act like a couple o swells

who stay at the best hotels

In Leigh and parts of Norflk, they are bigger because you have to use six fingers and a thumb.

sadly douglas has melted

Who is sadly Douglas?

Aww - that were mean that were.

Poor. Poor Douglas.

Cue the Anchor types and that song.

He got too big for his boots - was last seen blowing his own trumpet.

The Vanderbilts have asked us up for tea
We don't know how to get there, no siree

he melted on me toast

I think you mean trombone.

Indeed it was a trombone...The Kiwi's got rid of him..

Douglas

I've always wondered what those flanges are on the Lurpak packets.

Wondered if they were images of pipework, or even musical insturments.

Flanges

Lurpak still give the measurements on the inside of the wrapper too, ie you can slice off so many precise grams. It doesn't mention knobs of butter though.

In't google great?

The logo of LURPAK butter is two lurs, hence the name LURPAK. The 'wheel like bits' are the lur heads. Lurs are one of the most ancient musical instruments dating back some 3000 years to the Bronze Age. They were originally believed to have been battle trumpets. Later research, however, indicated they are more likely to have been played (always in pairs) during religious ceremonies. They are among the oldest musical instruments ever found on the European continent. 35 of the 61 existing lurs were found in Denmark.

Here

Douglas?

Sean Wilson AKA Martin Platt now makes cheeses and one is called Smelly Apeth.

Saddleworth Cheese

Urban Dictionary Daft Apeth

We'll be having none of that Urban Dictionary twaddle, thank you, Ayrefield.

See 'snig'.

Wonder if its as good as 'Stinking Bishop?'

If it's John Bishop, it will be...Anything is.

Now hush, Wozniacki's on tennis.

Aye just looked, the things they try to sell in St Pat's Club.

Origin: Shortening of a daft 'alfpenny.

UD

Gerroff, I've seen some of tham daft Yank interpretations also. There's a blinder of a question and suggestion about a 'knob of butter', too. But I daren't.

not wot like it used to be on here

Nope.

At least I've learned what them Lurpak flanges are.

Been wondering for years.

It's just a blue cheese veg grower, I tried it when it was on sale at Chadwick's and I'd sooner have Stilton, it goes to show how good his cheeses are as they don't stock his cheeses anymore, after folks tried them once they didn't buy any more.

Stinking Bishop is really very nice despite the smell, it gets its name from the perry that it is washed in it's made from a variety of pear called Stinking Bishop, I've not seen that for sale around here for a while now.

Opon reflection, they are like wazzocks

Ayrefield - thanks for letting me know about that cheese not being up to much.

I've never tried Stinking Bishop, I have seen several documentaries on it though, and it is made on a very small scale - hope to try some of that one day.

i think it's calling somebody an ape to imply that they are an idiot. who knows, must be something like that

From a forum.

dostaf


This forum.

More like this one

Also found some other pearls of wisdom:

Including an 'expert's' interpretation of 'Antwacky'

He also mentions 'apeth' and 'answers on a postcard'.

http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/a.htm

Not linked as there are some rude words included.

Also, the 'expert' has prevented copying his wise words.

Dostaf, sorry, this has nothing whatsoever to do with your thread, but what's happened to Our Joseph? I haven't seen any posts from him for ages. Hope he's ok.

Irene, missed him a while ago he hasnt posted since Brian got WW back up and running. Hope everything is ok too. The daft h'aporth.

I drove him away in the coche.

or maybe has just forgot to change names, mind after the comment he, or whoever,came out with about the state of the site i dont blame him, or whoever, for not coming on

nah,he cant be a parrot, they remember there names

Sorry, Irene. I can't help. As has been mentioned, he doesn't seem to have posted since the site was restarted.

I don't know Joseph personally, he may not even exist in reality. Though I strongly suspect he does.

If Irene, or anyone else, makes, or has any contact with him, please pass on my regards, and I'm sure the good wishes of many others.

Hope all is well, Mester.

Ditto. I'll keep the coche engine warm if he wants to reappear.

Who you calling Ditto?

Fool!

i hope someone remembers to use the mesters name

expect complaints

all change

I have no way of contacting him Dostaf; although we call each other Our Joseph and Our Irene we aren't related in any way and I don't know him apart from on here, but I miss the banter between you two. Perhaps he's on holiday.

Ah, sorry, Irene. I thought you knew each other.

He did seem to be making less frequent postings before his apparent abscence.

Again, I sincerely hope all is well.

Posted by: irene (1421)
Dostaf, sorry, this has nothing whatsoever to do with your thread, but what's happened to Our Joseph? I haven't seen any posts from him for ages. Hope he's ok.

Replied: 27th Jun 2012 at 20:14

Didn't he do a recent posting about cellphones and the interuptions in his gardening world?
Hope he hasn't succumb to radiation sickness

Thats a different entity entirely, BB.

I don't know, Britboy.

He types of John Joseph, Dostaf.

He can't be that important......it was ages until one of the "gang"noticed he was missing

Ah. Cheers, Mac.

Very welcome, Dostaf. It's nice to be helpful, isn't it.
Makes you feel all warm inside.

Indeed it is.

And does.

maybe this?

Central heating - FOR KIDS!

Yes, Britboy.

Irene was asking about Joseph1 (formerly xrh59)

Remember finding the Ready brek ad with Jon Pertwee doing the voice over. Can't find it now. Google must still be broken.

'Move to Sellafield' version.

NTNOCN

I glow in thr dark...just another piece of mindless irradiated info

Are you a prophylactic, or just pleased to see me?

I don't know, you and your rib ticklers.

I shortened a word to get 'rib'

Adam?

bed

Ah...Would you Adam and Eve it!

Sorry to ce so cryptic. But you never know when the young or naive are studying this complete and utter nonsense.

Can you imagine some ten-year-old kid following the ramblings on here?

Yes erm no

Gerroff.

Ten year olds have a problem following their nose!

And compiling a thesis for his/her Coursework?
The mind boggles.

If only there was somebody who could give us the statistics.

Oh for that certain someone.....

I bet twenty percent of them are puzzled my Mache.

The other forty percent actually understand the caption comp answers.

Your mache...Am I you/we/us/they?

Lololol...I volunteer to look after a local business...the staff have been told "please notify him with any equipment malfunctions"......the mind immediatly (for me) jumped to one of the Jacksons having "wardrobe malfunction" on stage. ....the strange wanderings of the mind....hope it wasn't off topic! .... Just another mystery for a ten year old! Lol

Nip slip!

Or a naive. (mystery)

This is a thing that puzzles me from time-to-time.

Topic goes stale and off we go on a flight of fantasy. As with a bit of banter in a pub.

Resulting in one of those 'how the hell did we get onto this?' moments.

Yet, it would appear verboten to some people.

It serves as greater amusement.
THRED RUWINERS? I prefer thread revivalists.

Saves typing 'bump', I suppose.

Bump???

He's doing it now!

Stick to topic.

Replied: 27th Jun 2012 at 16:25

A ha'peth of what?

Bumper Harris, now comes to mind.

Who he? You ask.

Have a google.

A clue

Nowt to do with Bomber Harris.

Could have used, 'Down in the tube station at Midnight'.

If only there was somebody who could give us the statistics

i take it googles still down then

Anyroad, thinking about Felicity Kendal's bottom. Who won Rear Of The Year 2012?

I knew it was due the other day, but didn't investigate further.

PRICELESS

dont do anything silly................it'll soon be right again

Seriously. HAHAHAHAHA!

Talk/type about flights of fantasy.

dostaf - you knew we'd google it.

if its still down on saturday then maybe somepeople, or is it just the one, can drag themselves off here and celebrate armed forces day

I haven't googled yet, VG. I honestly don't know.

Dev's Missus!

im suprised some people, or is it one person, have not had anything about armed forces day

And very aptly John Barrowman - they include both sexes now.

Who'd have thought. Not bad, but nowt spectacular.

perhaps I should have typed both sexualities...

Time for even more equality.

or even all three

or four if you include transgender.

Handbags here we come.

Nowt spectacular at all....That smashing singer thingme bobs won it once, and thingy off countdown as well....Now Rachel Riley should win it annually.

Ms Riley

Now you're typing.

Handbags here we come

hopefully,

I've already voted but its not for the rear of the year its for the a*rs*e

Is it a local award, Mache?

im voting for the chickens

Local award.

aye

or the moaner

Gender specific?

or maybe the sheep

Yes and I know the blood group

Oh?

See what I did there? O 'oh'

Suit yourselves.

the blood doner told me

Rhesus ?

Negative?

What's all that about?

eagle food

Sod Off!

I wish

Play nicely.

not anongst the flies

It is a macaque

aye a lot of caque

Posted by: walshy76 (6978)











Handbags here we come

hopefully,


Replied: 28th Jun 2012 at 18:04

Hmmm....Therein lies the truth, where is the all censoring admin now I wonder?

By his own petard.

Yep

language

Similar clues as to threads clearly intended to 'trawl'.

by: Mac (8358)

oops @ extra i in second gratuitous.
It means, in this case, 'Uncalled for', particularly as this is a site Children visit.


Replied: 21st May 2012 at 18:21

very grown up

Much appreciated.

Can you get them ^^^^ online?

.

So not nicked, then?

not me new one

if you lock em in bucket you cant use them yourself

You knew what I meant though.

have you copied link so I can remove

Dam! I forgot to bring back some birds custurd from the UK!

Must have been some subliminal suggestion I recieved..,dunno were it came from!

now where have i seen seen the bouncing smiley before

I didn't need the link, Mache. Remove if you wish.

birds custurd, Britboy?

You say windshield, I say windscreen.

I put a mispeel in now and then just for naughtiness

But not that naughty! Just notice the word had two sylabels...maybe the word police will notice!

Whatever will the children think?

nothing, they dont use this site anymore

And the fact that they don't know what a knife and fork is, they think its a foriegn site.

especially when they read the comments the "gang" and its "hanger on-ers type

BTW < (notice I'm practising my texting just in case I have to communicate with a young person). Is it a prerequisite to write "bump" now and agian or can I use another word??

Sometimes it is de rigueur to type 'up to the top'.

June explanation re 19:17


Posted by: dostaf (30362)

Cheers.

Lend us one for the other thread.

Just below Roobarb, please.

Replied: 28th Jun 2012 at 19:16
Last edited by dostaf: 28th Jun 2012 at 19:17:00
Edit


From here

Down to the bottom!!

Of the top? Very confusing.... Think I like "bump" better

*Bump*

From ghoulies and ghosties and long-legged beasties, and things that go bump in the night, good Lord deliver us.

Oooops wrong thread

How dare you!

All them little children wot reads this dross will now take up smoking and it will all be your fault, Mache.

Hang on. Scrub that.

Just remembered. We have recently been informed that all them little children what used to read this dross, no longer do.

Well, all but one of them.

You are still a wrong un and should read the Beggars Litany'

beggars litany

Just wanted to reciprocate the gift of the handbag mache

And we'll have no talk/type of reciprocating, thank you.

'Some children' may start asking awkward questions.

originalish

Opps wrong thread

no wonder

Fix it, or else

]

cured

'Great ideas bad execution'

Mache's link ^^^^

How's that for a coincidence.

non working replica



i'll take me chance

They built that replica near to the coincidentally named 'Gibbet Street'

"Halifax was once part of the Manor of Wakefield"


where is he when you need him?

Oh don't get started on that lot, Mache.

they actually 'force' rhubarb.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

so does apls

That's why it's red at the end.

Forced rhubarb grown in these sheds is more tender than that grown outdoors in summer

"And if yon pig in t'other shed says owt, it's a liar."

Is the rhubarb sculpture forced or forged ?

Imagine one that big

eront how you cook that ?

Privately and quietly

Mache best ask stoo he knows about roobarb Personally I'd chop both ends off, skin and then make a tart out of it.

Make a tart out of it?

Expect complaints.

Be VERY small portions.

yorkshire is known for big tarts

So is Manchester

yer Daft Ha'porth

Resurrected for VG.

Oh dear God.

One tries to help, VG.

Or at least this one does.

I know you do Dustaf - but we all know that I will carry the can whatever the outcome.

Nahhhhhhh.

There'll be a stomping round the compound and pooh flinging when the gate opens in t'morn, but you'll be OK.

Mac and Mache (both of them? ) will cop a shedload.

Even ispy is at it.......regurgitating.

Saves bother.

Take your time, Mache.

Posted by: goose (423) Report abuse


You'll get into trouble sm reopening old threads, there's only the elite few allowed to do that


Replied: 24th Jun 2013 at 12:26

Pity goose doesn't have an instantly recognisable avatar like Walsh has on these recent resurrections.

Purely coincidental, but they don't half stand out.

Blast from the past and all that.

Posted by: Mac (29246)

Are you a prophylactic, or just pleased to see me?

Replied: 28th Jun 2012 at 16:57

Allow me to explain this resurrection.

I was describing the term 'notreet' as being similar to 'daft ha'porth' elsewhere.


Posted by: dustaf (30381)

'Notreet' usually used in jest.

Similarly 'daft apeth'.

I'm sure there's a 'daft apeth/ha'peth' thread somewhere, just asking for a resurrection.


Replied: 24th Jun 2013 at 19:39

Here

Hence the:



Posted by: dustaf (30382)


Take your time, Mache.

Replied: 24th Jun 2013 at 19:41